My Discombobulation

Holy shit.
I just went though the most sexual-discombobulating five minutes of my life since that time in the sixth grade when Tiffany asked me if I was gay. My brother comes home and asks me if like the band MGMT. Not recognizing the name I shrugged so he put on their song 'Kids'. Recognizing it I shrugged, “Yeah its pretty good”. I guess he doesn't own the track though cause he was playing their music video off of Youtube. I got to watching it and one of their vocalists is incredibly attractive. When you see a girl like this you just want to stare at her face for hours but your usually at the waiting room in the dentist's or she is unreasonably far from the center of attention in a group so its awkward. Luckily she is on Youtube and my brother wandered off.
In the video her face is clown white with black accents and her lips over enunciate each word, probably do to lip-syncing, but still in a supremely enticing manner. I watch the video 3 times, but it doesn't focus on her at all and I only rated the song “pretty good” with a shrug so I need another fix. No doubt the face pant and enunciating were doing a lot for me but I was willing to look elsewhere for this girl. I google the band, my only lead (man, I should be a P.I.), but am thwarted by its two man all male ensemble, weird. I do some more research, watch some of their other videos, but can't find a trace of this girl.
Suddenly, from the unfathomable reaches of the depths of my mind sprang a thought. An idea; a realization. A realization that any P.I. would have had milliseconds from now. There is no girl. There are two guys in the band, two guys in every one of their music videos, and two guys in this music video. Fuck. In my amouration I had mistook an extremely effeminate guy with his face masked with face paint and his voice masked with lyrical distortions for the future Mrs. Tilley. But its ok right? I realize my mistake, this doesn't change anything about me. Its not like it moved or anything. I am uncentered by what happened. Let me be clear: I'v been around the internet. I understand that 'chicks with dicks' is more then just a clever oxymoron, and I saw that picture of a vagina that's actually some dudes arm pit. I'v cleared my history more than once. But this is the first time I have ever yearned for someone with genitalia so similar to my own. Still I am confused, but I can see one thing clearly: there is only one way to find out. With a stereotypical shaking hand and sweat profused brow I click the play button for the forth time but with the first inignorant purpose.
At first nothing is settled. Whenever I look at him for his manly features I feel nothing, but the second I let down my guard I fall back into my stupor of ignorant bliss. Lost, I look up from the video. I need something to clear my mind. I noticed an 'about the video' link in the description box. Click > Fucking USC student Abby Fuller (chick) performed in her own self made unofficial version for some class project and now the thing is popular on youtube. Jesus Christ Abby, you just put me though the biggest sexual mind fuck that I can remember having ever. [note that the phrase 'sexual mind fuck' does not connotate sex. Weird] If we ever meet in person, we will be enemies.



One percent of non-proper-nouns failed the spell check in this post. The English language is so conservative. Chill out English.